Frequently Asked Questions
Dead-Serious Question and Answers
How does transportation work?
All rides include complimentary transportation to and from our pickup point. You’re welcome to arrange your own transportation — though, please let us know you are arranging your own ahead of time so we don’t wait for you aimlessly at our pickup point.
I have a child with special needs. Can they ride?
Absolutely 100% yes yes yes. Oh, and we will go infinitely out of our way to make sure they have the best possible experience. Seriously.
I have a special needs requirement. Can you help?
Probably? I won’t contractually say yes but we try to do our best. Just contact us and we’ll certainly reply back and see what we can do!
What is your cancellation policy?
Our cancellation policy is we hope you don’t cancel. But in the event you do, we’ll ask for a 24-hour notice. We only have so many horses available and when you book, we tell them and they get really excited. When you ghost them, they are sad; do you know how hard it is for them to swipe right? Takes effort. But, Iin the case of a weather-related event, or act of Heyzeus/whatever deity is your thing, we’ll be accommodating.
Can we put two humans on a horse? Tres?
For safety reasons and for the health of the horse, we try to limit two a horse to two riders, given one is under the age and size of a typical 6-year-old.
What is the weight limit?
Weight limit is 265lbs, or 120kg for the rest of us.
What forms of payment do you accept?
For your 20% deposit, we accept your credit or debit card, or PayPal. We accept cash (dollars and pesos) at the ranch. If you’d like to pay in full ahead of time via credit or debit card, you can! Just let us know after you’ve booked and we’ll send you a special link.
I don’t carry cash, am I out of luck?
You can pay in advance of your ride via credit card, debit card, or PayPal — but only prior to the day of your ride. Just reply to any email we send you to reach a usually-happy human-ish-thing that can help you.
… and answers to things you were probably not wondering
What’s up with the references to The Office?
Well, we can’t make references to White Lotus otherwise we’d get cancelled, now can we?
You have a page linked to Burger On The Go of all things?
Yes, we do. Again, we wanted to make references to White Lotus but we’d get cancelled. Wait, if this is going to be a fight about copywriting, I just have to ask: are you really comic-relief-shaming me?
Did you really Heyzeus in the serious section?
Si. Por qué?
Wait what’s White Lotus?
Google it before I tell you to watch it. But not the spoilers! It’s so good. Horses love it.
The stories… are weird.
Yes, yes they are.
The random humor throws me off.
Ugh, you sound like one of the horses. Also, that’s not a question!
Are you real?
Sometimes. I mean, yes.
What is with the poor woman’s face on this page — she’s being attacked by an octopus!
No reason other than to get people talking.